Remember how everyone said that the newborn stage was the easiest, and that you should take advantage of the time you have with your child before they learn to talk back? In this article, we will look at how to be a calm parent in 7 steps for when the challenging times arrive.
Everyone knows how difficult children can be at times, especially when they begin to establish their own personalities, but no amount of forewarning can ever prepare you for the reality of battling with your own child.
The truth is, kids can be ruthless. If they don’t get their way, they’ll lose their cool and yell and kick. It doesn’t matter whether they were spoiled as a baby: when a child is growing up, they are still learning social cues, and will often react with rage if they are confused or upset.
As a result, we may become angry.
A screaming child is more than enough to send you over the edge when you haven’t slept properly in weeks, and can barely even find time to shower alone.
It’s completely normal to want to scream back, but unfortunately, doing so will accomplish little to nothing: not only will they become hesitant to fully communicate with you over time, but they will also grow up believing that shouting is an appropriate method of expressing anger. We don’t want that to happen.
If you can learn to speak calmly as a parent, you can teach your child to do the same. Of course, this won’t happen overnight, but remaining cool will benefit your child in the long run, as well as protecting your bond with them.
We’ve compiled a list of 7 ways for becoming a peaceful parent. Please think about each of them, and keep them in mind the next time your child has a meltdown.
So, let’s get started. Here are 7 ways you can be a calm parent around your child.
How To Be A Calm Parent In 7 Steps
Recognize And Understand Your Own Triggers
Understanding our own triggers as parents is the first phase of learning to avoid losing our composure and yelling back at our children, mirroring their behavior.
If your child notices that you also shout while you are angry, they will begin to believe that there is nothing wrong with their behavior.
Anything can be a personal trigger. For example, you may become worked up when your teenager starts talking back, or if your child starts throwing a tantrum.
You can teach yourself to take a step back and take a breather before continuing once you sense that you are becoming irritated, and more importantly, why you are becoming irritated. This will help you be a calm parent and positive influence on your child.
Don’t Argue Back: Be A Calm Parent And Walk Away Instead
Every situation is different, and you will need to learn to pick your battles. Of course, if your child is in danger of harming themselves, you should definitely intervene!
However, if your child is simply having a tantrum because they are not getting their way, the best course of action is to become a calm parent and to simply walk away.
This technique is especially vital if you find yourself becoming upset by their behavior, and are about to scream or become overwhelmed with anger.
Walking away will also teach your child a lesson about controlling anger: they will notice that you are calmly removing yourself from the situation, and may begin to mirror your actions over time (again, don’t expect this to happen overnight!)
Prepare Yourself Ahead Of Time
Sleep deprivation, a lack of alone time, and generally feeling overwhelmed by the demands of parenthood may (and will) take their toll. It’s nearly impossible to think clearly when you’re not in the right frame of mind.
It may be easier to get through the day if you prepare your day and establish a rough routine for both you and your children. This includes getting to bed earlier to attempt to get as much sleep as possible, meal planning, and reducing activities if you and your family are exhausted.
Building a daily schedule does not always imply that your day will get busier and more difficult to manage: in fact, by preparing to eliminate certain tasks, you can make your day much easier to manage!
It is all about trying to control as much as you possibly can, preparing yourself for the day ahead, without overwhelming yourself. By creating a calming and structured schedule you will be able to manifest the calm parent you want to become much easier.
Try To See Things From Their Perspective
When your child is yelling and shouting and not completely conveying their feelings, it can be tough to see things from their point of view and be a calm parent.
Unfortunately, this is a young child’s only means of communication! Even when they reach adolescence, they are still maturing mentally, and it will be difficult for them to properly express their feelings in a constructive manner.
There is usually an underlying reason for a tantrum in a child. Maybe they’re upset because they can’t have a new toy from the store, or they want to eat some candy before supper. As adults, we understand the importance of saving money and eating a good diet, but a toddler will not.
You can try to explain why they can’t get what they want all the time, depending on their age, even if they don’t listen. This stage will get easier with time, but for now, just try to understand why they are behaving the way they are.
Understanding how to be a calm parent can ofter stem from how you understand your child’s thought process.
Apologize If You Are In The Wrong
It’s difficult to apologize to your child as a parent, especially if you’ve done something wrong. It may feel that you are exhibiting weakness, or yielding authority while you are supposed to be in control.
If you have made a mistake, however, it is critical that you accept responsibility and express remorse, just as you would want them to do if the situation were reversed!
If your child complains that you aren’t paying enough attention to them, and you know you’re guilty of scrolling on your phone in your spare time (we’ve all done it), apologize and ask if they’d like to spend some quality time together.
A parent must be a role model for their children, and disregarding their calls for you to apologize for your own faults teaches them that it is OK not to apologize. If you apologize, they will understand that it is the responsible thing to do when you make a mistake.
Be Present! Spend Time With Your Children
Following up on our last point, your youngster may be misbehaving in order to get your attention. Any form of attention is enough for a child, thus they may do something wrong just to get you to notice them.
Parenting is one of the most difficult roles a person can have, and we often want to kick back and relax whenever we have free time. It is, nevertheless, necessary to put our phones away sometimes, and engage in conversation with our children, allowing them to feel included in our life.
Your child adores you, and they want to feel loved by you. While you know that you love your child more than anything else in this world, you need to express those emotions to them.
Take a walk with them, or play a game with them at home. It’s crucial to spend quality time together, and you’ll both be happier as a result!
Building strong calming relationships with your children will often lead to calmer environments, calmer children, and a happy and calm parent.
Don’t Beat Yourself Up
Finally, you must teach yourself to have patience with yourself. Being a parent wears you down over time, and it’s easy to feel like you’re failing sometimes. Learning how to be a calm parent can take time, and is not always easy or possible!
There is no such thing as a ‘perfect’ parent; we all make mistakes, and that is completely normal. No one offers you a handbook when you have a child, and it can be challenging to navigate this lifestyle when you are learning as you go along.
The important thing to remember is to keep moving forward, and not to be too hard on yourself when you inevitably make mistakes.
Keep reminding yourself that you’re doing your best, and that’s all you can possibly do!
As previously stated, parenting children is one of the most challenging tasks you will ever undertake. It can be difficult at times, and you may want to lose your cool with your children. When you’re pushed to your limits, your natural reaction is to shout.
We understand that hearing ‘just stay calm‘ is the last thing you want to hear, but with a little practice and patience, you can become a peaceful parent.
Consider each of these 7 approaches and reasons on how to be a calm parent, and you’ll find it easier to cope with time. We promise.
Good luck, and always remember: you’re doing great!